About

I am a new father of a beautiful little girl who I hope will grow up to be a loving, strong, hard working woman confident of her self worth. I have always been for gender equality but did not find myself subconsciously self-identifying as a feminist until I had a daughter. To some extent I avoided the label because I don’t believe every little thing that feminism is against is a problem. It took me less than a month of reading a few blogs to realize that nobody believes in everything that feminism has splintered into and there are contradictions within the movement like there are in every other movement. But more importantly I think I avoided labeling myself a feminist more because the issues weren’t important enough to me to accept the label. I could fight for women’s rights when I agreed with what other people were saying, but it didn’t have to, even partially, define me. That changed when my wife and I were told we were going have a girl.

I plan to use this blog to work out my own notion about exactly what I think feminism is and what types of feminist I am in a general sense. Not to find a label at the end but to work through the process and learn more about myself and the feminist movement. I will say upfront that while I embrace the diversity of feminism and the larger world, this blog will mainly be about the issues facing privileged white females like my daughter. Hopefully I will also be able to use this blog as a vehicle for learning more about feminism. I never took a women’s studies class in college. I would fail a feminist linguistics test pretty badly. Basically I am an outsider to this because of my y chromosome and my ignorance. One I am fine with, the other I plan to change.

That pesky y chromosome means that this blog will be written from a male perspective. It will be a sympathetic male perspective but a male perspective none the less. I am going to embrace that view as it possibly the one thing that differentiates myself from many of the other voices out there and frankly anything less would be disingenuous.

I believe that a critique of positions from a man’s point of view interested in strengthening feminism might be useful. There are a lot of tactics out there trying to further women’s rights, it might be helpful to know which ones are effective with men sympathetic to the cause. I will be critiquing however, which means that it is likely I will occasionally sound just like the jackasses most feminists spend their time railing against. If this happens feel free to come back at me, but please give me the opportunity to walk back, completely disown or publicly apologize for what I wrote. If I don’t and instead come back at you, just come back at me again even harder and continue to fight for what you think is right.

5 Responses to “About”

  1. Ashleigh December 21, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Yes, exactly this.
    Thanks from a former Arlington-dweller and avid/reluctant feminist.

    • Tim December 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

      How can you be an avid feminist and a reluctant one at the same time?

  2. Femimommy January 5, 2012 at 12:25 am #

    It’s so exciting to see a feminist father!!

  3. brian heagney July 6, 2012 at 12:26 am #

    Funny, I googled “feminist father” because I wanted to start it if it didn’t exist already! I also have a daughter (I have two actually, one is 2.25, other is 10 days old). I had already identified as a feminist prior to having a daughter, but I know how you feel about your reluctance.

    I haven’t read any of your posts yet, so this may be moot by now, but don’t worry: you’ll see that there should be no reluctance to post as a feminist. There is no perfect feminist, as there is no perfect “any”-ist. A man can be a feminist just as much as a woman can, having a “Y” chromosome has nothing to do with how well you can relate to feminism, it is only our cultural upbringing and yes, our ignorance.

    I think my feminist-meter has definitely become hyper-aware since having my first daughter, glad to see other men actually care enough about their daughters to realize they might be feminists (and if you have been moved to think that you just might be a feminist, I bet you are…you just might not know what a feminist is yet).

    Good luck, have fun, I look forward to reading your thoughts!

  4. Molly October 22, 2012 at 10:15 am #

    Hi! I’m working on a parenting book written from a feminist perspective, and I’m currently making an effort to find feminist, feminist-leaning, and feminist-friendly fathers who are willing to share their perspectives with me. I write at firsttheegg.com, where I’ve been gathering stories and insights from my readers as I draft … but the vast majority of my commenters are women, and I really don’t want to write a book that has “parenting” in the title but only “mothering” on the inside. If you’re willing to answer occasional questions, and/or if you know other fathers who might like to help with this project, please let me know! You can email me at molly at firsttheegg dot com or just start commenting at my blog; the questions usually come up on Wednesdays. (Can’t find an email address on your site, so I thought I’d try dropping you a line here.) Thanks!

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